Hari ni aku rasa down sesangat......for the past how many months, I've been waiting for it patiently, now, baru ler dapat berita yg amat not in favour of me. Tell me how should I react??? Geram sangat dengar explanation the other party, begitu lama tunggu, itu aje jawapan yang termampu dia beri??? Menitis gak air mata tadi sekejap, menahan rasa kecewa yang teramat sangat.
Masa drive balik rumah pun serasa melayang aje jiwa. Memikirkan jalan keluar terbaik bagi permasalahan ini. Yet, after all the emotion breakdown, I still remain positive dan berharap moga ada sinar bahagia yang menanti disebalik semua kemelut nie. Ok, tomorrow is another brand new day, I'm gonna try few other options, and hopefully all will be ok. The news today really affected my mood nak bercuti next weekend.
Di saat2 genting dan down seperti nie, serasa aku kekurangan sesuatu. Yes, I do not have a shoulder to cry on. Tak de seseorang yang rapat yang bisa ku berkongsi perasaan ku kali ini. Then, when I realised this, I tend to compare myself dengan orang lain......they have everything, a loving hubby who understands them well, a good career walaupun keje cam hampeh, still bonus depa malatopssss....elaun2 lain lagi, beli rumah dan keter baru lagi....aku???? Serasa diri ini amat kecil dan tak berharga.....sedih tau!!! Then aku tersedar, aku kufur dan seolah2 tak mensyukuri nikmat yang Tuhan beri pada ku selama ini. Nikmat2 yang mungkin pada mata kasar ku tiada nilai tapi berharga pada mata mereka yang mendambakannya.
God, I'm not asking for something that is extra ordinary, mcm segunung emas ke, selautan duit ke....I'm just asking something that I definitely know I really need it. Why is my life so miserable and difficult??? Why do I have to go through all these tests??? I feel like giving up now......tak sanggup hadapi dugaan kali ini......
God, please give me all the strength and positive thoughts that I really need now.....I've been trying my level best to remain positive tapi semuanye seolah2 tidak memihak kepada ku......
I'm signing off early tonite, fikiran kusut dan terganggu.....good nite everybody....
those who have husbands not necessarily boleh dengar, even if they boleh dengar pon belom tentu dia boleh membahagiakan.. owh kak bee.. don't be down ok.. nothing sucks.. shit happens.. tapi all will be okay.. insyaAllah
ReplyDeleteAidahss
ReplyDeleteyeah, that's so true.....I guess in a way, He knows what's best for me.....
Thanks for the kind words.....really appreciate it...
wei, u remind me of someone when u say "shit happens"......hmmm...