Had early dinner appointment with my bff, Umi today. She broke the news to me. I was so happy for her...But then later I realised, she is going to settle down soon, insya allah, by next year. And that leave me alone.....again.....my bff is getting hooked....and I'm nowhere close to her status.
She will be someone's fiancee by end of next week....The news somehow did ring a bell to me.....Apparently, according to her, she gave ultimatum to her bf, if he doesn't have any interest in pursuing their relationship on a serious note, she will find someone else.
Umi did ask me how's my life, who am I seeing now etc. I then begin to realise that I've been seeing this someone for quite a long time...off and on basis.....and there's no indication as to whether we are going to be serious or just wasting time.....Am I not brave enuf to know the truth (where I stand and where are we heading to) or just plainly playing along very well.....Am I afraid of commitment? Hell no......but I have to admit, I do "chicken out" whenever I sense things are getting serious.....I'm afraid I cant be the perfect "other half" for someone......
I'm feeling so down at the moment.....my bff is finally settling down, I dont have someone official that I can call as "my sayang", I dont know where I stand in this so called "relationship"...am I thinking too much or what??
Anyway my dear bff, congratulations....I will remember what you told me just now that you will remain the same....you will always be my bff no matter what.......
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