Takdir Dan Waktu

Kadang kala, dalam kehidupan nie, tak selalunya mengikut perancangan kita.  Sebagai contoh, mcm aku nie, for the past few months aku target nak mula tugasan baru bulan Oktober nie, tapi  Allah lebih mengetahui....Perancangan ku tergendala sebentar sehingga ke hari ini.  Mula2 tu tu, penasaran gak lar menunggu bila lar gamaknya segala proses2 yg sepatutnya dilakukan tu akan berakhir.  Tetapi, baru aku perasan, ada hikmah disebalik penangguhan ini.  Allah beri aku peluang untuk menilai semula perancangan aku yang ada melibatkan lain jiwa.  Kejadian yang berlaku benar2 membuka mata dan minda aku akan siapa sebenarnya kawan dan lawan.  Syukur alhamdulillah, kejadian berlaku sebelum semua documentations settled and finalised.  No doubt ada lar gak berlaku kejadian2 lain sebelum nie tapi disebabkan atas dasar kawan sepejabat, aku tak berapa perihatin sangat.  Paling kuat pun, aku meletup time tu aje then everything is back to normal.  Tapi bila bukti dah ada depan mata and God knows I have done my part (though that's not my area and job fuction) tapi dipersalahkan jug akhirnya, memang ler aku tak leh terima.  Tak pe lah, terima kasih teman kerana kau berjaya membuka mata aku mengenali siapa diri mu yang sebenar.  Don't worry, aku dah maafkan engkau, terima kasih atas pengajaran yang diberikan.

Itu cerita aku.  Now, I'm talking in general ye.  Mungkin kita rasa perancangan kita tu adalah yang terbaik, tetapi percayalah, Allah lebih mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk kita.  Kikiskan rasa kecewa, sedih kerana the delay in achieving what we have planned for could be a good time to reflect and re-assess ourselves.  Kesukaran dan dugaan yang kita lalui sekarang nie, insya allah, dapat menyenangkan kehidupan kita kelak. Kadang-kadang dugaan yang kita hadapi sekarang mungkin adalah kifarah atas kesilapan2 kita terdahulu, maka berlapang dada lah menempuhinya.   Kita cuma manusia biasa, tak lepas dari salah dan silap.  Bersangka baiklah dengan Allah, dan berdoalah agar kita diberikan kekuatan serta kesabaran untuk menempuhi semua dugaan Nya.

Jangan mudah putus asa sekiranya keadaan tak menyebelahi kita.  Ianya bersifat sementara, dan percayalah pada qada dan qadar.  Allah knows what's best for us.  Mungkin bukan masa nie, tapi insya allah, di kemudian hari siapa tahu kan?  Ianya seperti yang telah dijanjikan "setiap kesukaran pasti ada kesenangan".  Allah sedang menyiapkan diri kita untuk menghadapi keadaan yang lebih baik di masa akan datang.  Dia akan makbulkan apa juga yang terbaik buat kita, pada masa yang Dia tahu, kita sudah bersedia menghadapinya..



Nota kaki: Kalau bukan rezeki you tahun nie, insya allah, ada rezeki you di kemudian hari....Hanya Dia yang Maha Mengetahui apa yang terbaik buat kita semua....Jangan bersedih dan kecewa, kita teruskan juga memantapkan dan memperbaiki diri.....

Paintings in my mind

Ok, posting kali nie tak de kena mengena dgn tajuk.  Few days back, kakak was in her good mood.  When I reached home, kakak was busy playing with colour pencils and papers, drawing, scribbling happily.

Later she came into my room and gave me her masterpiece.  I asked her, what is it all about?  Kakak replied "oh, this is my drawing of a happy you.  You are walking around with that "uncle dlm handphone mak ngah", this is the "uncle dlm handphone mak ngah". 

Hmmm....what can I say?  She is too mature for her age.....

Disclaimer:

This drawing is solely Kakak's idea and not under the influence of any adults who happened to be around when this drawing was prepared.

Jalan2 Cari Makan - Bukit Jelutong, Shah Alam

Hari Ahad lepas, kitaorg dah rasa nak makan something different.  Mula2 pergi Secret Recipe kat Putra Heights, tapi time kitaorg sampai, kedai dah kemas dan nak tutup.  So, terpaksa pergi ke tempat lain.  That's how we ended up at Bukit Jelutong, Shah Alam.

Kalau berada di Bukit Jelutong, normally satu tempat aje yg kitaorg suka pergi makan, San Francisco Pizza.  Terdapat banyak hidangan ala barat disajikan di sini, so just be adventurous enough to try some of the dishes.

Trip kali nie aku try dia punya pan-fried chicken and tomato&cheese toasted baguette.  They had irish spaghetti, beef ball with rice, mushroom burshetta....overall, ok lar food yang kitaorg order tu.  Pricing wise, ok aje.....tak lar steep sgt harga nya.

Mushroom Burchetta

Toasted bread with tuna

Irish spaghetti....katanya

Beef ball with rice

Pan fried chicken

Muka keriangan kerana kekenyangan

Selepas 2 Dekad

Finally, after 2 dekad terpisah, semalam merupakan hari yang amat mengharukan kami semua.  Bermula di Facebook, dapat connect sorang, terus macam tali, berderet2 dapat kitaorang trace....and it did bring back all the yesteryears memories of being a teenager, trying to survive in the hostel world.

Maka plan dirancang, satu reunion bakal diadakan.  Cari geng2 se"dorm" yang sama2 mengharungi susah dan senang....dijangkakan 10 orang akan hadir, towards the last minute cuma 7 yang managed to get through.....tapi still, we did enjoy ourselves....mengimbas kembali nostalgia hidup sebagai penghuni asrama puteri.....the ups and downs...walaupun cuma 2 tahun bagi aku mengenali mereka, tetapi keakraban masih terasa....

Bila sorang2 muncul, apa lagi, terasa terharu dan tak disangka2, airmata pun mengalir...I feel like I'm back to the age of 13 and 14......especially dengan kehadiran member2 nie, tak terasa masa begitu cepat berlalu.  Riuh rendah ler kat Secret Recipe tu dgn hilai tawa kitaorg.  Most of them dah jadik mak2 org, yg plg hebat si Lela a.k.a. Kamben, dia aje anak dah 5.....very hyper productive gittew.....yang single mingle cuma aku dan Juita.  Mak2 org tu dok brainwash kami berdua nie, jgn terfikir nak settle down semata2 kerana pressure dari masyarakat, fikir betul2, jgn main tangkap muat aje nak sambar sesiapa yg berminat just because age is catching up.  Yes, we do know that and thanks for the reminder.  For us, jodoh tak sampai lagi dan belum masanya Tuhan mempertemukan jodoh kitaorg berdua.....kami pasrah (cewah, bahasa baku tu) dgn segala ketentuan Nya.

Lepas majoriti dah balik, aku dok sambung sembang dgn Lela dan Juita....and Salwa pun muncul.....lagi ler sambung sembang.  Then Salwa call one of our friends, Zul to join.  Apa lagi, havoc lar suasana....kutuk mengutuk amalan biasa dari zaman sekolah hinggalah dah bergelar mak/bapak orang nie......heheheh

In short, it was a sweet and meaningful reunion.  What I could conclude is that the bond that we had during our teenage years are still there......it's fun to see those yang dulu macam ugly duckling has transformed into a beautiful swan.  Bila bersembang dengan yang kaki bisnes nie, buat aku teruja nak start my own bisnes.......insya allah, we will start at small scale first....first potential customer dah tanya tadik pasal produk, hopefully would be able to conclude the sale soonest possible......

Among the food that we had

Khusyuk si Yanti makan, tapi at the same time, telinga tu dok dengar aje gossip kitaorg

Si Lela nie pun sempat bergosip sambil makan

Our group photo....Geng-STAR yg sama dorm dulu2....

To be or not to be, that is the question

Sebagai manusia, kita tak tahu apa yang akan terjadi di hari mendatang, we thought and pray that our days will be smooth sailing, tak de sebarang gangguan dan dugaan yang besar tapi selalunya, yang sebaliknya berlaku. 

Ada hamba allah nie baru2 nie buat sessi curhat (curahan hati) kepada ku.  According to hamba allah nie, dia percaya dia dah jumpa "belahan jiwa" dia yang sebenar.  Dia nak file for divorce, so does the other party (pihak ketiga).  Terkejut besau aku kerana dia dan pasangannya kelihatan sebagai a very loving couple, dah beranak pinak pun.  Both parties have their own reasons as to why they wanna leave their current marriages and be together.  Aku cuma boleh mendengar apa aje luahan hati dia nie.  Nak komen banyak pun, tak berani.  But aku ada mentioned kat hamba allah nie "we might be able to fake our happiness in the eyes of the public, we might fake and put aside our feelings for the sake of the children.  But do you really want this, deep inside (in our heart) we definitely know that we are unhappy with our relationship with the other half and we are suffering all alone by ourselves.  So, choose wisely and stand firm by your choice".

Whatever the reasons are, I did mention to this hamba allah agar bersabar dengan dugaan sekarang....and go with the flow.  Do not rush things.  Sometimes, bila kita dalam satu situasi yang kita tak suka, our easy way out is to grab whatever chances yang ada.  Kemunculan orang ketiga dalam perhubungan hamba allah nie might be the pull factor kepada dia.  Tapi jangan sesekali jadikan reason kemunculan orang ketiga nie sebagai main reason you want to walk away from your marriage when you know deep inside, you can't go on any longer dengan apa yang ada di depan mata.

According to this hamba allah, it all happened so fast and like it's fated.  Dia pergi somewhere for a short break, jumpa kawan2 lama and it happened.  Both parties have the same feelings towards each other.  Yang dikatakan orang ketiga tu pun sedang mengalami masalah dgn marriage dia.  Hamba allah nie pun kata, the signs started late last year, somehow benda2 yang selalu dibuat bersama tiba2 menjadi jalan cerita individu...and everything seolah2 telah dirancang, dia sendiri pun tak pernah plan nak bercuti ke mana2, tiba2 ada rezeki terlebih and the rest is history.

Dear friend, think thoroughly and choose wisely, and whatever your choice is, I'll be there for you during good and bad times.  You know how to get hold of me......

Me, Myself and I

People tend to think I'm a stable and strong person, that could be due to the way I carry myself and how I handle my life.  I hardly share pieces of my personal stories/problem with anyone, no one could really tell what's in my mind at any given time.

I learnt to keep almost everything to myself after the demise of someone really close to me.  Before this, no matter how small or big my worry was, I would be able to share with him, though most of the time, he would remain quiet, never interfere nor giving any suggestion, he was my shoulder to cry on, my ears when I needed someone. 

After he's gone, I have no where to turn to, that's when I started to keep everything to myself, thinking real hard and I seek comfort in God.  When I'm really down or stressed out, I would spend more time praying, seeking His blessing and asking Him to guide and show me the most rightful way to overcome my worries.

Now, I really do not know how to share my worries with people.  Tuesday's incident really opened up my eyes and starting to change the way I think.  I know, God will still be there for me, to guide and give me hints how to overcome my problem.  And yet, God also has shown me that I still need another human to be there for me.

I know I could rely on you.  As I told you that day, I do not want to trouble people with my problem.  I will keep it to myself for as long as I could.  I also know that you would want me to be more open with you, sharing stories/worries etc, but I do hope you would give me more time to get used to it.  I do not know how to start, as I might think it is not necessary for me to share my worries with anybody.  I need you to help me realise that in this world, we do need a shoulder to cry on, someone who could be there for us during good and bad times. 

Maybe the time has come for me to start trusting another human again and the person could be you.... 

Riang Ria Makan Raya - Minus One But We Did Have Fun

Maka berlangsunglah sessi Open House utk division kitaorg ini hari.  Banyak betul halangan dan rintangan yang terpaksa kami lalui semata2 nak menjayakan aktiviti tahunan ini...mulanya plan nak buat last week tapi ramai yg tak de, pengakhirannya, hari nie ler kami sebulat suara fikirkan adalah hari yang paling sesuai...itu pun ada yang bercuti...

Ribuan terima kasih diucapkan kepada organiser event kali ini, cik magistret Aishah, she made it happened...kalo ikutkan aku, memang ler ini tahun tak ada mood nak buat benda2 nie because of one incident sebelum raya hari tu yang menyebabkan kami semua (under the same unit) rasa really demotivated and fed up.

Terima kasih kepada yang bersusah payah mengorder dan masak juadah hari nie...ada nasik lemak dan sambal kerang, mee goreng, cocktail, fruits, cakes, fried chicken and nuggets, nasi impit beserta kuah kacang dan macam2 lagi.  This time round, aku masak pulut kuning dan kari ayam.

Seawal 11 pagi jiran2 sebelah division dah mula datang memenuhi division kitaorg.  Kalih2, by 12:30, it was so packed with manusia yang datang utk menziarah dan makan2....mengikut pepatah kitaorg, "berlaga bontot".  Bila aku nengok org yg terlalu ramai nie, terus ler aku entertain VVIP guests kat cubicle aku....lepak2, borak2 sambil makan.....best.

By 1:00 p.m. banyak juadah dah habis so we decided to top up dgn nasi goreng kampung dan telur mata.  Itu pun masih ada tetamu yg datang sehingga jam 4 tadi....rezeki depa lar, makan2 sambil menapau.



Cerita Hari Sabtu - 08 September 2012

I bumped into her as I was accompanying my mom doing some grocery shopping.  I was stunned, so did she.  For a good few seconds we were looking at each other but something deep inside my heart tell me to just forget about it.  Then I looked away, continue doing whatever I was doing at that point of time, so did she.

Within few seconds after that, all the memories started to flood into my mind.  The good and the bad times, especially after what had happened and how she hurt me so much.  Dear Ex-BFF, I have forgiven you long time ago but to be associated with you again, it is a big No-No.  Whatever that you have said about me to your friends really hurt me and I did not expect it's coming especially from you, my then close friend.  We did share some wonderful time together, gossiping, sharing stories and sad tales but that was so long time ago.  After what had happened, I realise that some people can be nice to you but the moment something happened, they will boast to the whole world, telling their sides of the tale.  At the same time, these people will start to gang up, getting others to be on their side. 

Do you know that until now, none of our acquintence know the reason as to why I would not want to be associated with you anymore.  They did ask but I just smile.  I am not the type of person who will bad mouth about my own BFF to other people nor sharing any dark secrets of my BFF in public.  I guess you did that, just like what you did to our friend before.

Enough is enough, apology accepted but then again, sorry no cure.  It is better we lead our own lives and do not interfere with each other any more.

Thanks Dear....

I thought I was strong enough to face all problems by myself as I am not the type who likes to trouble others with my problem but at the end of the day, I find myself sinking deeper into the problem with no light at the end of the tunnel.  Thank you so much dear for your kind help today, I owe you one......so glad and thankful that you are around when I need someone the most...

I'm Backkk

I'm baccckkk!!  Lama sungguh tak menulis, banyak citer dan kejadian sebenarnya tapi entah, macam tak de idea nak citer2 kat sini.  Sekarang nie, my lunch time, tu yang sempat jengok kat sini....itu pun pagi2 tadik dah kena sound dengan Neena, "awat lama tak update belog?"  Nak cer citer amendenye, aku memang tak de mood dan idea nak dikongsi kat sini.

Tadik ada sorang nie datang jumpa aku, mintak tolong dia buat assignment, calculation of amortization.  Giler kentang, benda nie ler yang paling aku bencinta masa zaman belajar dulu....tak terusik lagi notes, question dan calculation tu.  Terpaksa jengok2 kat pakcik google utk dapat ilham buat assignment....hehehe.  Sorry babe, kalo aku tak leh buat assignment ko nie, aku cadangkan ko call aje member2 yg keje dlm loan dept kat bank, depa blh tlg hang dlm sekelip mata....hehehe.

Semalam, ada juga yang mintak tolong, buat assignment gak...minutes of meeting...muahahahha.  Ikut SOP aku ler, whatever that we have been practising here, itu ler yg jadik guideline aku dlm menyiapkan assignment dia nie. 

Other than that, I've been thinking about a lot of things ( I mean, really....a lotttt!!) sampai pening2 kepala.  Hopefully, all my worries will disappear and whatever that I've been wanting/waiting, will finally finds its way to me.  Penat tau achik tunggu, dari sehari ke sehari, minggu ke minggu tapi nan hado aje.  When will this waiting game ends?

Kejadian last week really made me realise that life is so fragile and uncertain.  Kematian dalam usia muda seolah2 menjadi satu kebiasaan sekarang.  Masa kat masjid, sementara menunggu jenazah tiba, terdetik gak kat hati, aku nie dah ready ke nak transfer to the other world?  How it feels like to be there for your own funeral without others realising and noticing you....nampak diri sendiri dimasukkan kat liang lahat, the people who turned up for your funeral, the loved ones you left behind...etc.  Semua nie bermain2 di minda ku sehingga ke hari ini.

Tgh sedap aku nk menulis nie, ada lar pulok yg ajak turun pg lunch....wokeh, Got to Go....kalo rajin, malam kang aku update citer2 lain yek..